


Ultra Violet

by celastris



Series: kozue and saionji end up friends after ohtori i will not be taking constructive criticism [1]
Category: Shoujo Kakumei Utena | Revolutionary Girl Utena
Genre: F/M, Road Trip, also roast the hell out of each other, completely platonic though, hot topic is involved, i hate myself why do i come up with these things, kozue swears a lot, they both listen to MCR, utena and wakaba are only briefly mentioned, with a bromance forged in the depths of 2000's emo Hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:14:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27639391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celastris/pseuds/celastris
Summary: I bet you didn't expect to see a fun, lighthearted fic about Kozue and Saionji being best friends.I'm sure you didn't expect one where they go on a fun little road trip to do some emo shopping together.Iknowthat you didn't anticipate ever seeing a fic with these two blasting My Chemical Romance at max volume in a beat up sedan, screaming along at the top of their lungs in between roasting the ever loving shit out of one another.Well checkmate, fools, because I am here to flood the Utena tag with fun little fics full of wacky hijinks. Happy reading!
Relationships: Kaoru Kozue & Saionji Kyouichi
Series: kozue and saionji end up friends after ohtori i will not be taking constructive criticism [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2079657
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	Ultra Violet

**Author's Note:**

> i apologize for what i have yabba dabba done but saionji and kozue being best friends makes me go brrr i luv it so much. 
> 
> also i'll elaborate more on it in later fics i swear, i have drafts written and everything, but saionji is chill now,, hes tolerable now i promise
> 
> also also the spacing got weird at the end for some reason, and trying to get this hell site cooperate with my italics Isnt Happening Right Now, so just add in italics mentally where you'd think they go :)

“Your dye job looks patchy and your roots are starting to show. It makes you look cheap as hell,” Saionji said from the driver’s side of his beat-up sedan as his passenger buckled her seatbelt, pulling the car door shut. It was a Friday afternoon, the one time their days off from work usually lined up, and they were out on a drive. This trip in particular was a monthly occurrence, usually around 45 minutes long depending on traffic. The two didn’t mind the length, as it gave them the time to catch up, gossip, and just have fun—a much needed escape from the monotony and stress of their everyday lives. 

They also loved _any_ excuse to be able to roast the shit out of one another. 

__“Alright, but at least I didn’t have multiple girls leave me for Utena fucking Tenjou within 5 minutes of meeting her” Kozue responded nonchalantly from the passenger’s side, examining her chipped blue-polished nails._ _

__“That’s a low blow coming from someone who’s income comes from selling her bathwater to middle-aged men on the internet.” He replied with a smirk, looking forward and waiting for the oncoming traffic to let up before turning left._ _

__“I do NOT sell my fucking bathwater, you crusty rotten-lettuce haired looking ass motherfucker, I sell my _shower hair_ , thank you very much.” Kozue scoffed, grinning smugly as she put her feet up on the dashboard. __

____“You’re saying that like it’s somehow supposed to be _better_?” Saionji scoffed, using his free hand to reach over and smack her leg, “and get your dirty shoes off my dashboard, you nasty little animal.” Kozue reluctantly pulled her feet back to the floor, splaying them out in front of her and slumping back in her seat grumpily as she prepared another scathing remark. _ _ _ _

____“How about you actually text Wakaba back and then talk to me about my life choices.” She lilted with a smirk, turning to Saionji and flipping him off as he turned to merge onto the highway._ _ _ _

____“That is a complicated situation and you _know it_ , and I will throw you out of this car so help me _god_ ,” he hissed, smacking the steering wheel to emphasize that he, in fact, was the one driving the car. ___ _

______“Do it pussy, you won’t.” Kozue said, only to have him swerve the car to the left, jerking Kozue against the window with a thud and causing her to let out a string of curses. Saionji broke into a fit of laughter at this as she recomposed herself and crossed her arms._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Fuck off,” she grumbled as she poorly tried to pull off a scowl, expression betraying her amusement, “just give me the aux and don’t wreck the goddamn car.” Her hand was held out expectantly as she watched Saionji fish the cord out of the center console and hand it to her._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Fine, you just better not play anything bad or I’ll turn us around, and I won't feel bad about it.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“ _FINE_ old man, you’re lucky we have overlapping music tastes.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Kozue pulled out the cable to plug it into her phone, pulling up Spotify and scrolling to find their road trip playlist, artfully named ‘ _Not Even God Can Stop Our Emo Crimes Against Humanity_ ’. ___ _ _ _

________“What do you mean _OLD_??” Saionji shouted, only to have Kozue ignore him and start blasting the music, volume cranked up so high that he could feel the bass shake the car as she sung along at the top of her lungs. They were only 4 years apart in age, but Kozue loved to use those 4 years as yet _another_ point of leverage for her insults every chance she got. She loved Saionji of course, like a brother, (sorry Miki), and, at this point in life at least, he was her best friend no doubt. How exactly they got there was a long story, but nonetheless the two had found they had far more in common than they thought, (not all good characteristics, of course), and here they were. However, it was simply Kozue’s nature to be an asshole for sport, so she felt no remorse about it. They both got a kick out of it so there were no worries. If anything, Saionji _more_ than kept the insults mutual, leaving them with a healthy balance of loving verbal abuse to cement the bonds of their bromance. ___ _ _ _ _ _

__________It only took him a few more seconds of brooding to get over himself and join in, belting along to the soothing sound of _The Sharpest Lives_ by My Chemical Romance, the screaming pipes of Gerard Way absolving him of all irritation. Neither of them could sing for shit, Saionji being borderline tone-deaf, but regardless, one of the things the two enjoyed most about their drives was the music. As far as their respective music tastes went, what partial overlap they had could definitely be categorized as 'outdated,' as Miki would kindly put it. As a result, they were both blacklisted when it came to fights over the aux cord with anyone else present, but when it was just the two of them, there wasn't anyone to stop them from bumping the emo hits of the 2000s for 45 straight minutes—and thus they did. ___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________They'd made it through most of the album as they reached their exit, turning off the highway and driving a bit more before pulling into their destination's parking lot. Kozue mumbled a complaint about how far they had parked from the actual mall, but didn’t press it, knowing how awful Saionji’s parking skills were. As fun as it would be to bully him about yet another insecurity of his today, she was feeling merciful and decided against it, unbuckling her seatbelt and getting out of the car._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Saionji got out and walked around his side, locking it behind him, and jogged up to match her stride as they walked to the entrance. The place in mind was towards the section of the mall nearest to them, something evident by the distant sound of what sounded like metal music as they approached it, adorned with its iconic black sign, dark storefront, and even darker interior._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“ _FUCK YEAH BABY_ ,” Kozue screamed, voice echoing through the mall as she threw her fists in the air, Saionji rolled his eyes at her. An older woman passing by side eyed the two of them, but luckily there weren’t any children nearby. To be fair, even if there were, he knew that she probably wouldn’t care. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Kaoru, Kyouichi! Nice to see you guys back again!” an employee near the store’s entrance called out, greeting them as they entered. She was a taller woman with blue hair and a myriad of colorful piercings, exactly the kind of person you would picture working at a place like this. The two responded back warmly, recognizing her as well with how often they'd seen her on-shift. Kozue was pretty sure her name was Rei, unless she had drastically changed her appearance since the last time they were there.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“It’s rare to have regulars here of all places, but there’s a first for everything!” Rei laughed, folding some disheveled t-shirts before putting them back on a shelf, “so let me know if either of you need anything.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________The two of them gave a quick ‘thank you,’ before strategically splitting up to grab the essentials, knowing exactly what they were looking for and knowing the layout of the store like the back of their hand. Within minutes, Saionji had come back to Kozue with two jars of her usual hair dye, (Manic Panic's Ultra Violet) to, in his words, ‘cover up [her] ugly broke-ass looking roots.” She grabbed them from him with an annoyed grumble, before the two split off again to peruse on their own._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________You see, in order to make sense of these two unlikely friends’ motives, shared interests, and entire relationship as it stood, a person only really needed to understand one important thing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Saionji and Kozue regarded Hot Topic the way an Evangelist regards church. With reverence, enthusiasm, blind devotion, and the unyielding desire to give them way too much money for absolutely no good reason._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________This was the one place the two of them could conveniently get several staples of their respective wardrobes in one go. From particular hair dyes, (regretfully, neither of them naturally had green or purple hair), to band t-shirts, to a plethora of other aesthetically-specific clothes and accessories, and whatever else they needed outside of that._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Everyone had their own little ways of coping after leaving the academy, _they both still recoiled at the name alone_ , and one of the overlapping ways the two of them seemed to do that was by thrusting themselves headfirst into the 2000’s emo aesthetic. That was fine and all, but the fun part presented itself when neither of them had managed to stop being emo as hell, almost 5 years onwards. As a result of that, one day around a couple of years back, the two decided on a whim to drive to the closest Hot Topic as they’d never been to one. They liked it so much that Kozue had asked to go again around a month later, and the month after that, and from there they just kept on repeating until they fell into a rhythm—these monthly Hot Topic trips became their little escape from the weight of everyday life. ___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________They started out going together out of pure convenience, as Kozue did not have a car, but their drives together ended up strengthening their friendship far more than anything else. Sometimes they talked about stupid, shallow things the whole way there. Sometimes they spent the drives roasting the shit out of one another, with Kozue usually coming out the winner. Sometimes, they vented to one another about all of their stressors and burdens._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________And sometimes, they blasted _The Black Parade_ with the windows down on the highway, screaming the lyrics at the top of their lungs, the tension of life flying away with the wind on their faces. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________************************************************************************************_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________The two pulled up to the curb by Kozue’s apartment complex, deafeningly loud music cutting off as Saionji took the key out of the ignition._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Don’t forget your shit this time please, I’d rather not have to try and explain why I have black lace thigh highs in my car to Juri like I had to last time. It was _mortifying_ ,” he said with a dramatic sigh, hands clasped together in a mock prayer. Kozue responded with a laugh as she grabbed her bags, checking the contents to make sure she took the right ones, before unbuckling her seatbelt. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________She opened the door and hopped out of the car, still laughing, before turning around to duck her head in one last time before leaving._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Same time again next month, permavirgin?” Kozue asked, making sure to slide in one last insult before she went. Saionji let out a chuckle before snapping her a finger gun and winking, causing her to roll her eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“You know it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> yes i am also still in my emo phase but we all gotta do what we must in these trying times, even if that entails listening to the same MCR album over and over until our brains turn into grape jelly.


End file.
